[ She's right, of course. She's nearly always right, able to pick her words with far more care than he's ever been able to muster, though he's not deceived by the weight of her silences. He knows there's more going on underneath than she allows to the surface. They're the same like that, though he's spent a long time learning how to cover up with bravado and bullshittery instead of those long measuring looks from deep green eyes.
He lets himself be harangued, knowing he's earned it. He's let her down, not for the first time. This isn't the worst place they've ended up in together, but it's not great, either. His gaze slides away from her when she expresses what she'd been assuming, making it clear how much that stupid mistake cost her. Three days is a pretty short amount of time in the grand scheme of things, but it can be unrelenting when it's full of that kind of pain. ]
I guess I want you do better than I can. [ He says it before he can stop himself, scowling on the heels of the truth of the sentiment, looking down at her hand. He knows he's missing the point but he's not sure how intentional he's being about it. Talking to Laura always has a way of unsettling him. ]
You're right, though. I shoulda been more careful. [ He flicks a glance sideways at her. ] I don't wanna lose you either, Laura.
( she's not sure what exactly it is that she wants out of logan. not anger, despite her own sharp words, she doesn't actually want to fight with him. but she doesn't want his sympathy either, the heavy sentiments sitting uncomfortably alongside all that nasty guilt that's weighing her down. she wants--
laura wants to forget about the whole thing, really, and go on living her life with the careful balance she'd struck before, of being around without being involved, getting time with him without having to give much of herself in return. it's a stupid pipedream, but it doesn't stop her from longing for the week earlier, where the only concern she'd had was a stupid logo printed tee shirt and whether or not an unfortunate observer might ask her to explain it.
there's a response caught on her lips, mouth opening and then closing just as quickly, because she can't decide if she wants to antagonise him or let it all go, chew him out more or apologise. it's frustrating enough that she lets out a sound an awful lot like a growl, and she steps closer, until that jabbing gesture becomes an actual finger prodded at his chest.
only for a second though, and then instead she's wrapping her arms around his chest and squeezing, tight enough that it's almost as aggressive as all the gesturing. )
[ Logan knows the battle going on behind Laura's eyes, the push and pull of wanting to be close to someone and knowing they're the source of so much pain at the same time. In many ways the two of them are each other's darkest mirrors, living proof of what's been done to them without their consent. Once upon a time Logan might have wanted to change that, might have wished Laura could be off somewhere living a normal life, happy and mundane and quiet. These days it's more complicated, because any wish that would give her that would take her away from him as well.
He can't give her much, but he stands still while she pokes at him with her finger, all those complex feelings twisted up in the wash of her scent and the low frustrated noise she makes if nothing else. Then she's stepping in to put her arms around him, and he lifts his to wrap around her as well, holding her close enough to make it a little hard to breathe. He ducks his head into her hair and draws in a deep grateful breath, smelling himself and her, the flood and the Down, the boys she's living with, yesterday's cold pizza and all her grief. ]
I don't want to do it either, girl. Believe me.
[ He loosens his grip on her a little but doesn't let her go, not until she pulls away. He'll hold on to her for as long as he's got her. ]
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He lets himself be harangued, knowing he's earned it. He's let her down, not for the first time. This isn't the worst place they've ended up in together, but it's not great, either. His gaze slides away from her when she expresses what she'd been assuming, making it clear how much that stupid mistake cost her. Three days is a pretty short amount of time in the grand scheme of things, but it can be unrelenting when it's full of that kind of pain. ]
I guess I want you do better than I can. [ He says it before he can stop himself, scowling on the heels of the truth of the sentiment, looking down at her hand. He knows he's missing the point but he's not sure how intentional he's being about it. Talking to Laura always has a way of unsettling him. ]
You're right, though. I shoulda been more careful. [ He flicks a glance sideways at her. ] I don't wanna lose you either, Laura.
no subject
laura wants to forget about the whole thing, really, and go on living her life with the careful balance she'd struck before, of being around without being involved, getting time with him without having to give much of herself in return. it's a stupid pipedream, but it doesn't stop her from longing for the week earlier, where the only concern she'd had was a stupid logo printed tee shirt and whether or not an unfortunate observer might ask her to explain it.
there's a response caught on her lips, mouth opening and then closing just as quickly, because she can't decide if she wants to antagonise him or let it all go, chew him out more or apologise. it's frustrating enough that she lets out a sound an awful lot like a growl, and she steps closer, until that jabbing gesture becomes an actual finger prodded at his chest.
only for a second though, and then instead she's wrapping her arms around his chest and squeezing, tight enough that it's almost as aggressive as all the gesturing. )
Be better. I do not want to do this again.
no subject
He can't give her much, but he stands still while she pokes at him with her finger, all those complex feelings twisted up in the wash of her scent and the low frustrated noise she makes if nothing else. Then she's stepping in to put her arms around him, and he lifts his to wrap around her as well, holding her close enough to make it a little hard to breathe. He ducks his head into her hair and draws in a deep grateful breath, smelling himself and her, the flood and the Down, the boys she's living with, yesterday's cold pizza and all her grief. ]
I don't want to do it either, girl. Believe me.
[ He loosens his grip on her a little but doesn't let her go, not until she pulls away. He'll hold on to her for as long as he's got her. ]